1 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,176 2 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,299 When you live in the city that never sleeps, 3 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,010 it comes as a bit of a shock when somehow, 4 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,054 you manage to oversleep. 5 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:59,268 Oh. Oh. Taxi! Taxi! 6 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,062 7 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,194 Oh, excuse me. 8 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,492 - Oh, Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 9 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,745 Oh, taxi! 10 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,249 Thank you! 11 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,045 12 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,840 Shit! 13 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,886 14 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:44,313 Sir. Sir, I have to be downtown in 30 minutes. 15 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,024 16 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,196 Thank you. 17 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,616 Keep the change. 18 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,367 -Need a lift? 19 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,793 20 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,516 Excuse me, Hi. Which way to the Stock Exchange? 21 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,809 -There. -Thank you. 22 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,353 Oh, excuse me. 23 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,233 24 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,198 - Step forward. -Okay. 25 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,407 -Stop. Give him the bag. 26 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,825 Oh, here, can you hold that? 27 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,704 -Let's go. Stop. Arms. 28 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,540 -I'm sorry. Oh. 29 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,129 Oh, sir? Sir, can you hurry? I'm here to ring the bell. 30 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,964 -Go right ahead. -Thank you. 31 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:53,965 Step forward. 32 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,051 33 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,019 All right, you have to put this on. And we gotta hurry up. 34 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,938 Wow. 35 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,496 Today, one of New York's favorite newspapers, 36 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,124 the New York Star is going public. 37 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:33,046 And here at open trading, is one of its favorite columnists, Carrie Bradshaw. 38 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,301 -Now you can press it. -Okay. 39 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,721 40 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,183 The day after the stock market, 41 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,353 I met the ladies for lunch in the fashionable meat market. 42 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:51,857 It was so exciting. It almost made me invest in something. 43 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,442 I love the stock market. 44 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,862 A room full of screaming sweaty men, all trying to get it up. 45 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,281 I don't invest anymore. It's too volatile. 46 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:03,201 Exactly. I want my money right where I can see it. Hanging in my closet. 47 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,870 Actually, your stock is up. 48 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,080 I bought some shares of your newspaper yesterday. 49 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,292 Really? Well, thank you sweetie, was it expensive? 50 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,669 -Oh, no you're cheap. -Well, I never. 51 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,380 - Ladies. -Thank you. 52 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,548 Thank you. 53 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,050 Twenty dollars for a hamburger. Oh, that's reasonable. 54 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,595 Pathetic. When I moved to this neighborhood, 55 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,263 the only thing that cost $20 56 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,098 -was a hand job from a tranny. -Ew. 57 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,602 I'm serious. It's all gotten so sanitary. 58 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,355 I mean no smoking in bars. What's next? No fucking in bars? 59 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,900 Well, first there would have to be a no fucking section. 60 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,612 I mean, just look at this street. Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen. 61 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,948 The only designer name that belongs in the meat packing district, 62 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,325 is Oscar Mayer. 63 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,994 I never liked his clothes. Too fatty. 64 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,789 But that's what great about New York. There's always a new neighborhood, 65 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:49,831 a new restaurant. 66 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,042 -A new man. -Oh. 67 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,755 That's right. Friday night, my first official date with Jack Berger. 68 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,090 That is so exciting. Isn't that exciting? 69 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:02,761 Oh, sure. It's all fun and games till someone has a child. 70 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,138 So, what do you two have planned? 71 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,473 Well, he hasn't said yet, 72 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,100 so many, many outfits need to be scouted. 73 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,102 Oh, you kids today and your dating. 74 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,856 I know. I feel like a girl of 35 again. 75 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,358 -Oh. 76 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,528 Oh, I really like him. 77 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,988 Then you better find out his bottom line right up front. 78 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,367 If Harry had told me that he could only be serious about me if I were Jewish, 79 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,494 I doubt I'd be in my situation. 80 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,372 I don't get it. What kind of man passes up pussy for Purim? 81 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,292 Soup and a tenderloin of pork. 82 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,921 What's with the face? 83 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,258 -I didn't make a face. -I said pork, you went... 84 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,427 It's just I'm confused. 85 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,888 I mean you can order pork 86 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,683 but you can't get serious about a future with me because I'm not Jewish. 87 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,477 And from the meat market, to the marriage market. 88 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,481 Charlotte, it doesn't work that way. I'm not kosher, I'm conservative. 89 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,066 I'm conservative too. 90 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,027 Yeah, well, my conservative doesn't have anything to do with wearing pearls. 91 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,030 Look, I know what you're thinking. Okay? 92 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,575 Why did I let things get this far without talking about this? 93 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,702 Why did I sleep with you? Why did I even kiss you? 94 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,496 -Why did you? -Because I couldn't not kiss you. 95 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,623 Not sleep with you. Not see you. 96 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,084 Believe me, I never thought a shiksa goddess like you 97 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,752 would fall for a putz like me. 98 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,339 You're not a putz. 99 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,551 Do you even know what putz means? 100 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,970 Yes. Shmuck. 101 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,764 Sure you're not Jewish? 102 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,516 103 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,059 104 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:34,811 Okay. 105 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,147 And from Jewish to Poo-ish. 106 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:41,526 Um... Miranda. You got a little dootie on your forehead. 107 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,903 What? Where? 108 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,322 Oh, now you got more. The other side. 109 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,867 Which side? How's it-- Well, help! 110 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,912 -It's not funny! Baby wipe me. - Okay. 111 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,664 -"Baby wipe me". -Get it off! I did not say it like that. 112 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,124 Just get it off! 113 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,959 -"Baby wipe me". -Oh, yeah? 114 00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,003 -Let's see how you like it. You like it? -No, no. 115 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,088 -You want it on your face? -No, Miranda, Miranda, no. 116 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,840 -Mister, mister, on your face. -Knock it off! 117 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:04,841 Knock it off! 118 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,010 Brady, help! Tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy. 119 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,180 What? 120 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,351 I just don't think it's so fucking funny. 121 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,894 You weren't the one with shit on your face. 122 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,145 You were chasing me. 123 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,481 You know, I don't have time for this. I have to get up early. 124 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,565 125 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,401 I don't even know why you're still here. You dropped off the baby hours ago. 126 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:27,113 I don't have time to stand around while you read the paper and order food in. 127 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,741 Don't you have a life? 128 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,952 Yeah, I got a life. 129 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,956 Bye, Brady. 130 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:41,795 131 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,841 -Hey. -I'm in love with Steve. Hold this. 132 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,971 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 133 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,391 Come on, are you seriously telling me you didn't know? 134 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,768 Oh, I knew. I just can't believe you admitted it. 135 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,687 I need a drink. What have you got? 136 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,605 It's 11:30 on a Saturday morning. 137 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,192 Did you not hear me just say I was love with Steve? 138 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,404 I think I got an old bottle of Kahlúa somewhere. 139 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:13,410 Okay. Hold on there, Brady. Mama needs a cocktail. 140 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,911 Last night we were in the dining room 141 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,955 and we were laughing and all of a sudden, 142 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,459 I looked over at him and I realized we belong together. 143 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,839 -Oh, Miranda. -Yeah. 144 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,842 So I picked a huge fight and threw him out of my apartment. 145 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,803 Good thinking. Okay. 146 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,889 These Triskets have been here since the mid '80s. 147 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:40,228 I so cannot be in love with Steve. Steve's so is not the guy for me. 148 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,647 Oh... Miranda. 149 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,276 You're right. Steve's so is the guy for me. 150 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,279 No, no, I was just asking if Brady can eat crackers yet. 151 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,741 No. How can I have been wrong all these years? 152 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:57,037 You weren't wrong. It just took you a while to get here. 153 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,041 So, what are you gonna do? 154 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,918 I don't know. I have a lot invested in this relationship. 155 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,086 Plus, we have the baby. 156 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,172 Yeah, plus you said you were in love with him. 157 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,757 Yeah. 158 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,134 So, how are you gonna tell him? 159 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,514 Maybe I should take him somewhere romantic where I can't start a fight? 160 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:20,018 Oh, my God, Miranda, do you know what this means? 161 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,604 You're asking Steve out on a date. 162 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,607 163 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,777 - Hi, Samantha. -Hi. 164 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,570 - Looking good, Sam. -Hi. 165 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,991 That night as Samantha walked home, 166 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,744 past her friendly neighborhood bar, the Rampole, 167 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,954 she saw something truly upsetting. 168 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,461 169 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:52,300 Just what we need. Another Wall Street asshole with money. 170 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,765 171 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,311 Hold the door. 172 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,608 Hi. Thanks. 173 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,903 I live here, see? Here are my keys. 174 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,614 Chip Kilkenny. I just moved in. 175 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:19,452 -Samantha Jones. 3F. -I'm 4F. You live right under me. 176 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,997 That sounds promising. It's quite a car. 177 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,838 I love a nice hummer. Well, good night. 178 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,053 179 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,265 And uptown, in a slightly less obvious maneuver. 180 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:41,850 Oh, I'm close. 181 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:48,565 Oh, honey. Is this whole Jewish thing really that big a deal? 182 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,317 No. No. Oh, God. 183 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,446 No. Oh! 184 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,074 185 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,702 The next morning, bright and early. 186 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,706 -Good morning. 187 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,250 There's a happy face. 188 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:11,588 I am a happy face. It's a beautiful morning, 189 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,548 and the sun is shining, 190 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,551 and you changed your mind about the Jewish thing. 191 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,387 Whoa, whoa. What? What Jewish thing? When? 192 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:23,933 Last night. I asked you if it was really that important to you and you said no. 193 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:24,851 I did? 194 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,105 Yeah. When we were making love, right before you came. 195 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,065 How could you not remember? 196 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,944 Charlotte, honey. I can't remember my own name right before I come. 197 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,030 Well, that's what you said. 198 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,658 Asking me to renounce Judaism during sex is a clear manipulation. 199 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,493 Oh, blah-blah-blah. 200 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,371 Just don't understand why is it so important to you? 201 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,083 I promised my mother I would marry a Jew. 202 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,793 Your mother? 203 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,629 Charlotte had had her fill of potential 204 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,547 husbands and their demanding mothers. 205 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,592 Harry's stock suddenly began to plummet. 206 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,261 Yeah, right before she died. 207 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,264 And just like that, it was up again. 208 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,601 I'm very sorry your mother's no longer with us, 209 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,187 because if she met me-- 210 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,898 She'd would fall in love with you like I did and not care? 211 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,192 -Mm-hm. -No. Jews don't think like that. 212 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,695 Keeping tradition alive was very important to her. 213 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,239 She lost family in the Holocaust. 214 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,034 What? 215 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,374 Well, now I can't say anything because you've brought up the Holocaust. 216 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,294 217 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,631 - Hi, it's me. Leave a message. 218 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:41,094 Hi. It's Jack. Berger. Not Kerouac. 219 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,762 Wanted to clear that up. 220 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,431 So you're probably standing there screening. 221 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,268 Way to play it. I'm a big fan of the screen. 222 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,437 In fact, don't pick up or I'll panic and hang up. 223 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,772 Don't pick up. 224 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,775 I'm not ready for actual voice on voice action. 225 00:12:56,150 --> 00:13:00,947 So I'm jumping right in and suggesting dinner and a movie for the big date. 226 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,950 Everybody's really been loving that movie Craig's Room, so... 227 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,244 Why don't we go and hate it? 228 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:11,457 Here come the movie times. We have 5:15, we have a 7 o'clock. 229 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:15,503 And he calculated which times and which theatres would be least crowded, 230 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,757 which says "take charge" yet left the restaurant choice to me, which says, 231 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,134 flexible. 232 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,970 All and all, the perfect machine message. 233 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,432 I think Berger and I are gonna be very happy together. 234 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,518 Oh, I love this time before the first date 235 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,229 when you can make statements like that and almost believe them. 236 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,649 -Why all the drama? -Because I really like him. 237 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,485 And you can imagine what that does to a girl. 238 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,071 Got it. Say no more. Really, say no more. 239 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,283 Oh, and then right after he called, I got a message from this other fella, 240 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,660 who I've known for a year suddenly asking me out on a date 241 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,245 which only proves my theory. 242 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,415 The only thing a girl needs to get a date is another date. 243 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,542 -Your stock is up. -And did you say yes? 244 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,918 No. I already have a date. 245 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,004 Which is why you should say yes to the other one. 246 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,381 I think you're putting on a lot of pressure on this Berger date. 247 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,760 Honey, Charlotte's right. You need to do something to take the edge off. 248 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,970 I'm not going on a simu-date. 249 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,723 Carrie, how many new outfits have you bought for this movie? 250 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:12,143 -Be honest. -None. Six. All returnable. 251 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,980 All right, maybe just a casual coffee to take the edge off Berger. 252 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,148 Exactly. 253 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:21,611 Later that day I got to thinking about stock market and dating. 254 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,154 Are they really that different? 255 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,157 If you have a bad stock, you could lose your shirt. 256 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,702 If you have a bad date, you could lose your will to live. 257 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:33,581 And if the date is good, the stakes get even higher. 258 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,793 After weathering all the ups and downs, 259 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,754 you could one day find yourself with nothing. 260 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,424 So, when it comes to finance and dating, 261 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,385 I couldn't help but wonder, 262 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,845 why do we keep investing? 263 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,186 And speaking of high risk investments. 264 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,566 265 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:08,658 Hey, it's me. I'm not here. Try me at Scout, 957-7297. 266 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,202 -Don't forget the 212. 267 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,164 Hi, Steve. Hi. Steve. 268 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,457 Um... 269 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,669 I need to talk to you about something. 270 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,297 How about we do it over dinner? How's tomorrow night? 271 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,216 Magda could sit with Brady. 272 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,136 Let me know. Bye. 273 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:33,141 -Oh, it's Miranda. And... bye. 274 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,770 Miranda feared it was possibly the most imperfect machine message ever. 275 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,817 And Samantha decided to say it with a basket. 276 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,490 277 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,202 Welcome Wagon. 278 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:57,165 Hi. Excuse the towel. I was just in the shower. 279 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,250 I brought you a basket filled with goodies 280 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,294 to acquaint you with your new neighborhood. 281 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,505 Cheese, prosciutto, condoms, handcuffs. 282 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,258 -Handcuffs? -From the bar next door. 283 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,510 Enjoy. 284 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:13,264 If I reach for that, my towel will fall. 285 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,807 I'm no fool. 286 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,486 A little while later, Samantha blew Chip, stockbroker. 287 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:30,990 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 288 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,160 -Now that's what I call eating in. 289 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,453 290 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:40,249 Look, I never do this but here's a tip. 291 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,962 Elan Pharmaceuticals is gonna go straight through the roof. 292 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,215 Elan Pharmaceuticals. 293 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,012 -Thanks. -No, thank you. 294 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,598 That was the best effing head of my life. 295 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,724 296 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,520 Just like that, their mutual fun, 297 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,563 turned into mutual funds. 298 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,568 Later that week, I met graphic designer, Willie Applegate 299 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,946 for a late afternoon simu-date. 300 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,866 -It's a cute place. -Yeah, I hope it's okay. I didn't know. 301 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,911 But I figured, you know, you can't go wrong with a garden, right? 302 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,789 -Yeah, it's great. -I hope it's okay, yeah. 303 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,583 I didn't know. I just said that. 304 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,504 It suddenly became clear that a simu-date for me 305 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,381 was a first date for him. 306 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,052 Are you looking at my sty? 307 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,887 -Excuse me? -My sty. 308 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,057 I have a sty. See, right here. 309 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:42,019 I was gonna cancel, but then I thought, "Well, maybe she won't even notice it." 310 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,479 And I-- I didn't even-- 311 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,566 -No, I wasn't looking at it. -Oh, oh, that's good. 312 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,818 -Oh. Oh! 313 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,778 -Okay. Wha... what... 314 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,697 -Oh! -What was that? 315 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,283 -Have you ever seen anything like that? 316 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,034 No, I have never. 317 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,120 This is a bad choice of place. I'm sorry. 318 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,330 No, it's fine. It's fun. 319 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,417 It's like cappuccino, wilderness safari. 320 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,377 321 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:13,050 Ouch. balsamic vinegar in my sty. Ouch. 322 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:16,387 Oh, God, here. Here. Here you go. 323 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,806 -Ow. -Thanks. 324 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,808 Could this go any worse? 325 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,226 Oh. 326 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,687 What the... what the fuck? 327 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,897 -Whoa! -Oh! 328 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:30,443 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. 329 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,904 It was a sudden crash no analyst had seen coming. 330 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,949 And in yet another type of market. 331 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,661 Well, I hope you're happy. Now I'm twice as nervous about my Berger date. 332 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,456 Caring too much is like a disaster magnet. 333 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,915 Poor guy. 334 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,960 Can you catch a sty helping someone up from gravel? 335 00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,670 Where's the homeopathic section? 336 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,797 Maybe they make something called sty-be-gone. 337 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,176 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 338 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,596 I'm thrown by the change of topic but I do appreciate the trivia. 339 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,848 I'm reading her book My Love Affair with Jewelry. 340 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:01,932 Not surprising. 341 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,144 And she changed her religion for the man she loves. 342 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,146 Yeah, and a big old, honking piece of jewelry. 343 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,858 -Oh, don't be so cynical. -Sorry, it's my potential sty talking. 344 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,402 Love... she did it for love. 345 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,489 Are you thinking of pulling an Elizabeth Taylor? 346 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,532 I need more information. 347 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,660 There's more to being a Jew than jewelry. 348 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,286 Wise words. I'll meet you at the checkout. 349 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,287 Okay. 350 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,499 351 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,713 Ah. 352 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,761 Charlotte wondered just how far she would go for her true love. 353 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,395 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 354 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,066 No, don't get too excited. We're just trading information here. 355 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,277 Okay, and from a not excited place I ask, 356 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,238 is this something you might consider? 357 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,033 I'm just trying to understand. What's so special about being a Jew? 358 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,661 -I feel like I'm on a game show. -I'm serious. 359 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,705 I mean, If this is really your bottom line, 360 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:09,125 then you're gonna have to try and give me a reason, aside from your mother, 361 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,501 that I can relate to. 362 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,257 Well... 363 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,843 If we were to get married... 364 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,595 Now, we're just trading information here. 365 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,474 I would want our children to be raised Jewish. 366 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:30,813 Charlotte realized, it was time to reveal to Harry, her bottom line. 367 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:37,445 Well if that's really the reason then I have to tell you something. 368 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,490 I... 369 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,704 I may not be able to give you children. 370 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:51,751 I'm challenged in the reproductive area. 371 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,213 It's not hopeless, but it's difficult. 372 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:02,094 I guess I should have brought it up sooner, but I never thought we'd even... 373 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:06,348 -I understand if you-- -Shh. Charlotte. 374 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,602 I love you. 375 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:14,231 You're the most wonderful thing that could happen to a shmuck like me. 376 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,193 You're not a shmuck. 377 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:21,989 You're a putz. Seriously, Harry. 378 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,658 You want a family and... 379 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,039 What if I couldn't give that to you? 380 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,875 We'll adopt or something. 381 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,879 -But they wouldn't be your own. -Eh. 382 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,924 What are you gonna do? 383 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:44,637 Charlotte York was deeply touched by Harry Goldenblatt's humor, 384 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,014 compassion, and acceptance. 385 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:51,185 "If this is Jewish, " she thought, "That's worth looking into." 386 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,730 Meanwhile, downtown, Samantha had moved her neighbor 387 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,525 from stocks and bonds to stockings and bondage. 388 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,652 -I'm bad. 389 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,946 -Go away, I'm busy. 390 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,951 -Ms. Jones. -Juan. 391 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,830 Who the fuck are you? 392 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,750 FBI. Get dressed. You're under arrest for insider trading. 393 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,419 Turns out, Chip Kilkenny was quite the ladies' man. 394 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,673 And every time a woman went down, the Dow went up. 395 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,133 Ma'am, can you undo your cuffs, so we can use ours? 396 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:27,179 Surely. All the good ones are getting arrested. 397 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,727 And at a romantic restaurant, 398 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:38,107 a 37-year-old, single mother found herself on a first date. 399 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,320 You look pretty. You got a date later? 400 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,865 No, it's just the dress. 401 00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:51,203 Jeez Louise, it's dark in here. I can barely read my menu. 402 00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,289 We need another candle or something. 403 00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,165 I think it's kind of nice. 404 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,044 Um, Steve. 405 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:00,838 Yeah? 406 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,925 I asked you here because I wanted to explain 407 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,510 why I picked a fight with you last week. 408 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,722 Miranda, I know you. And I know why you picked a fight with me. 409 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,850 -You do? -Yeah. 410 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,769 You're upset because I'm hanging around too much. 411 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,229 You think I'm getting too close. 412 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:21,567 But you don't have to worry because I just started seeing someone else 413 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:26,572 and it's going really good, so please, relax. 414 00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,366 I'm not in love with you anymore. 415 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:39,460 416 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:43,005 All that stuff I said to you about Steve never happened. 417 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,674 Don't mention it to anyone. Don't think about it. 418 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:49,345 Don't even so much as give me a look like you might be thinking about it. 419 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:53,349 Like that. That look. I can't ever, never see that look again. 420 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,475 Will you please calm down? 421 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,353 I think you're overreacting to that thing that never happened. 422 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,064 If you think I'm overreacting here, you should be inside my head. 423 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,566 -Miranda, I have to say this next thing 424 00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:05,694 but I will play along and not look at you while I say it. 425 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:09,740 Maybe if you had told Steve anyway-- 426 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:13,202 Carrie, I swear to God I love you but I will have to kill you. 427 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:16,997 Brady, come on. Work with mommy here. Please. 428 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:20,084 I'm sorry but I'm looking and I'm talking. 429 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:24,254 This is your life. You two have a baby together. 430 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:27,257 -It's not high school. -Isn't that Berger? 431 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,223 -Oh, God, I look like shit. -You don't look like shit. 432 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,767 I look like shit. This is not my perfect outfit. 433 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,436 -Are you leaving? -Bye. 434 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,439 Oh, God, shit. 435 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,407 436 00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:58,414 I was just entering the safety zone when... 437 00:24:59,873 --> 00:25:00,916 there he was. 438 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,712 My emotional equivalent to the big crash of '29. 439 00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,130 Aidan. 440 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,729 - Hey. -Hey. 441 00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,942 -Look at you. -Look at you. 442 00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:30,446 -I had a baby. -I have a date. 443 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,033 Well, that's wonderful. 444 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:35,451 Is this him? 445 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,287 No, this isn't him. This is a stunt baby. 446 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,832 Yeah, it's him. This is the man, Tate. 447 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,585 I call him Tater 'cause he looks like one, you know. 448 00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,253 No hair, big eyes. 449 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,048 Yeah. He's cool. Aren't you, Tate? 450 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,300 So, where are you running to? 451 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,093 Uh, home. 452 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,180 So things are good? They look good. 453 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,600 I'm just hanging out in front of this fabric store waiting for Tate's mom. 454 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,145 All right, don't laugh. I married another furniture designer. 455 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,897 -Really? -Yeah. What are you gonna do? 456 00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:06,815 Yep. You can't fight city hall. 457 00:26:07,608 --> 00:26:09,651 Cathy. She's great. 458 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,403 You wanna come and meet her? 459 00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:13,072 Oh, another time. 460 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,948 I really have to run. 461 00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:17,409 -Okay. -Bye, Tate. 462 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,749 Oh, God, Aidan. 463 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,837 It's good to see you. 464 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:31,423 You, too. 465 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,386 We should get together and have coffee sometime and catch up. 466 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:39,431 Yeah, great. Okay, we'll do that. 467 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:42,851 Bye. 468 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:47,147 There is the type of date you can't wait to keep. 469 00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:50,984 And the type of date you both know... 470 00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,444 you'll never keep. 471 00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:13,257 A block later, I realized 472 00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:17,469 if Aidan and I could survive that huge a crash and both get out alive, 473 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:20,139 there was nothing I could do on a first date 474 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,807 I couldn't bounce back from. 475 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,725 Hey, Berger, it's Carrie. 476 00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,061 - Hey! -Yeah, hi, listen. 477 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:29,356 I'm standing outside the Sony Theater near Lincoln Center 478 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,441 and Craig's Room starts in half an hour. 479 00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:34,069 And there are no lines. Can you go now? 480 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:36,822 That's so weird. I'm right in that neighborhood. 481 00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:40,033 Really? Huh, must be fate. 482 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,369 -I'll be right there. -Okay. Bye. 483 00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,545 -Hey! -Well, this blows. 484 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,882 I had my special outfit all picked out for tonight. 485 00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:56,091 I got the tickets. 486 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,719 All right, then I got the popcorn and the assorted chocolate goodies. 487 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,513 -Are you a candy gal? -I am the candy gal. 488 00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,599 -Oh, 'cause I'm the candy man. -Yeah? 489 00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,934 No, I am serious. Sammy Davis? Ripped me off. 490 00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:09,021 Yeah, Sammy Davis. You don't feel the need to use the Junior? 491 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:10,814 No, not at all. 492 00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:12,107 - Really? - Nope. 493 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:13,108 Don't forget-- 494 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,359 495 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,738 And by close of Wall Street that day, 496 00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:22,367 the NASDAQ was down, but amazingly, our stock was still up. 497 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,836